Leather is Unisex
by Miharu is Harukas Love Child 2
Summary: Everyone's invited for the first ever Wammy's House wedding! Well...everyone except Linda. When she makes up her mind get back at the M-duo, it's up to Matt's elite band of hacker friends to spoil her revenge plot. Also, Mello in a leather wedding dressed kinda obligatorily happened. Fluff/Drama/Crack!humor, M/M, OC/OC


Leather Is Unisex Part 1

Summary: Everyone's invited for the first ever Wammy's House wedding! Well...everyone except Linda. When she makes up her mind get back at the M-duo, it's up to Matt's elite band of hacker friends to spoil her revenge plot. Also, Mello in a leather wedding dressed kinda obligatorily happened. Fluff/Drama/Crack!humor, M/M, OC/OC

A/N:

Point 1: This fic is a stand alone story but is written in the fanonverse of Matilda/MRS-Jeevas' _It Matters_ series. You don't need to read her fics to understand this one, but if you like it, then you might want to go read her stories. If you are one of Matti's readers, then this fic contains spoilers for basically all ten books. OCs and characterizations belong to her. But I mighta gone a bit silly and OOC. Just a teensy bit XD Story written by me with permission.

Point 2: Sorry I'm not sorry. This started off seriously and I went into full crack!mode by the end of Chrissie and Salvo's convo. So this is incredibly silly. XD

Point 3: Matti's publishing the eleventh novel now. Please join us at the He Moves Me differently forum, if you want to join the general M/M discussion, post your M/M fan fiction, discuss Matti's works or anybody else's. We're a community of Mello and Matt lovers and Death Note has taken up our lives. We'd love to have you join ranks. For further information ask me in a review or PM and I'll tell all.

* * *

The small Malaysian woman couldn't believe the slip of paper in front of her. Her fingers pressed out the crease and she let her eyes travel down the message for the umpteenth time, not believing it any more than she had in the first place. She felt a small tear run down her cheek and brushed it away, trying to make sense of her emotional state. She was nearly as elated as she was dumbstruck. Fourth in line to be L and she still couldn't quite catch the logic workings withing the inner minds of the third and second placed heirs. This had to be one of craziest antics they'd ever pulled. Or perhaps the answer was much simpler and she was applying too much Wammy's logic to it.

It hadn't exactly been a joke back in the Wammy's infirmary when she'd scolded Mello she'd told them all how hurt she'd been that none of them included her in their important life events, yet her words had apparently been taken with a higher grain of salt than she could have hoped.

She dialed the Watari network and connected herself to Halle Lidner, who promptly picked the line up, "Hello Deontic," replied the friendly blonde.

Deonitic had grown to regard Halle as a very dear friend since the ex-SPK member had taken over Roger's position at the Institution. Halle had done her duties quite beautifully as the new Watari despite all the utter bullshit the Wammy alumni (and some of the current residents) put her through. The American had even kept some semblance of peace between Near and Mello, which was saying a lot.

This was a bit different though. A wedding at Wammy's House? And using their real names?

"Have they lost their bloody minds?" Deontic breathed excitedly.

There was a pause before the answer, "I see you've received your invitation, then?"

"And you've consented to it?" Deontic queried, voice raising an octave.

The American snorted, "Since when did Mello seek _my_ approval before doing something reckless? And who do you suppose he asked to walk him down the aisle and give him away? I'm actually a bit relieved that they want the ceremony here at the orphanage."

Deonic's breathing caught, "No way! He actually asked you to give him away?"

The Malaysian woman blinked, recalling herself in a moment of frailty when her leather-clad foster brother had held her and told her that of all men, she was safest in his arms, him being a 'flaming queen' and all. But surely...he hadn't quite meant it like that, had he?

She continued her line of inquiry at Halle, "I'm flattered that I've been asked to be the maid of honor, but Mello isn't serious about taking us dress shopping with him, is he?"

The line hadn't closed but Halle didn't respond.

Deontic didn't need her to.

The silence spoke volumes.

/~/~/~/~/ meanwhile in a cottage of undisclosed location/~/~/~/~/

Salvo balanced the baby against his shoulder as Chrissie packed their things.

"How did they drag us into this mess?" He asked of his wife as he rocked their child to sleep.

The lawyer turned to her husband and smiled, "You weren't eleventh rank for nothing. You're a detective, love. Use that brilliant brain that Wammy's trained."

A frown spread across the black man's features but he was distracted by a gurgling sound from the baby.

Chrissie commented no more as she fiddled with her personal suitcase. Still, she had been unsettled when Matt had e-mailed her with his request. She was going to officiate the marriage license. She also had to be present at Wammy's House a few days before the ceremony took place. She felt a pang of jealousy that they were going out of their way to have a legal marriage. She'd love to legally marry Salvo and have a piece of paper that read _Lilac and Kamwala Ndongala_. As it was, none of them who'd grown up at Wammy's really existed, their aliases being more part of them than their nationalities and their native tongues. The fear of Kira had driven them to fear muttering their real names even to themselves. But Kira had been gone a few years, and in the aftermath all the Wammy's House alums had tried to establish lives for themselves. Some were more successful than others.

Chrissie and Salvo were a pair of the luckier ones, finding love and family and a future for themselves.

"Almost packed?" queried Century from the doorway, distracting the Canadian woman from her thoughts. "I've got the car running and I'm ready to leave as soon as you are."

Salvo towered a good half foot over the black-haired Welshman, but Century still dwarfed Chrissie with his six feet of height. She looked at her bags and then at the box near the entrance. She didn't want to think about why Mello had sent her an order of glow-under UV light makeup from _Sugar Pill_.

"Let's go. Are you sure you're up for the drive? You can come later in the week with Salvo and the baby."

Century shrugged, "I haven't seen Lauren in a while." he explained.

"Ah," chimed in Salvo, "and you still trust that she's not using you to to spy on us? Never forget that the girl works for Mello."

Century shrugged one more time, "Lauren might work for him, and she might also be the wedding planner, but as for her personal romantic interest? It's none of that slavic bastard's business. Besides, he's had other things to worry about, like recovering from his bullet wound and dealing with Matt going off the anti-depressants."

"The seroxat withdrawal must be a bitch to deal with."

"Oh if Matt's twitter account is anything to go off of, I'd say Mello's got the easier end of the deal."

Chrissie frowned, "Matt actually tweets about their domestic life?"

/~/~/~/~/ But within Wammy's House /~/~/~/~/

"Calm down, children. Only the ones going on the shopping trip may leave. All others please go back to class." Ann, the weathered Wammy's caretaker and general surrogate mother to all the orphans, tried to separate her charges to no avail. She couldn't really blame them though, she was as excited as the whole lot at the prospect of the upcoming ceremony.

"Not fair! How did Pwyll get picked as the ring bearer?" squeaked one rather unsatisfied Wammy's House heir.

"Becauuuuuse," Answered Ella, "Like me, Pwyll helped Matt sneak past Halle and the security guards when he was all in ninja mode trying to sneak his way to see Mello in the infirmary. Repayment of debts, this is." The teen girl had a sparkle in her eye as she recalled the last time that fifth generation alumni had visited the orphanage. Mello had been recovering from a bullet wound in the infirmary and Matt (for reasons unknown the children) had arrived separately _in handcuffs_. A handful of the fifth generation Wammy's kids had successfully helped Matt maneuver around Near's guards until he found himself at reunited with Mello at his bedside. It had been the most exciting thing they'd witnessed thus far and every kid was jealous of the few that had been hand-selected to take part in the couple's upcoming ceremony, even if they _were_ all invited to attend.

 _Red_ knew the truth. She knew that Matt had accidentally shot Mello during a case. But the small child wasn't tattle-tale. Besides, she going to be the flower girl. That meant _Matt and Mello trusted her_.

Lauren ushered the select few out of the foyer and into the front yard where she had a car waiting. She was to bring them to a select location that Mello had designated for dress fittings. The Finnish girl took a mental head count and called out to a curly-haired American who was sitting on the porch steps, "Hey Jamboree!"

Jamboree turned her head, curls bouncing in the movement, "Yeah?"

The wedding coordinator beckoned towards the one Wammy's child who had deselected herself from the detective ranking to pursue her dream as a surgeon, "Hey Jamboree, how do you feel about being a DJ?"

/~/~/~/~/ Whilst in another mansion, not too far from Winchester /~/~/~/~/

Matt heard the ping on his laptop and strolled over to one of the laptops he'd set up in the living room. He grinned at the flooding of messages he was receiving from the Elite Hacker's Consortium. They'd received his packages then! He made sure he was in the general chat room under his known hacker alias: MarioMatt.

Bubbles: MarioMatt!  
MarioMatt: Ohai Bubbles. U like presents?  
Bubbles: :D  
Allaire: This what I think it is?  
MarioMatt: test time pl0x?  
Bubbles: kk  
H2S04: ¡Hijole! ¿Que es eso?, pínche mendigo.

Matt paused at the insult in his native language of Spanish and replied to the other hacker just where he could shove his ass.

MarioMatt: ¡Tu madre!, H2. Te pones tus nalgas en el botón verde, pendejo.  
CrashnBurn: :( English!  
Force10: Flick the green switch! MM and H2 stop being assholes.  
Silver: Shit! It's vibrating!  
Bubbles: Oh mama, this is incredible.  
H4x0r6: ...  
H2S04: ¡Me lleva la fregada! Mira ese güey, es el chingon.  
MarioMatt: :D

Matt smiled. _Too fucking right_ , he smiled at H2S04's updated comment, _he certainly was the shit_. He slipped off his goggles and replaced them with the new pair, the one that linked up with the machines he'd sent to his friends and he flicked his own green switch which remotely pulled the sensors on theirs. He immediately connected to the hacker matron who treated them all like her cyber children. The laptop erupted in code as he waited for a final program to boot.

The refrain of a song suddenly filled the room as the sound blasted in from Bubbles' apartment and over Matt's speakers.

 _'What are we running for?_  
 _When there's no where_  
 _We can run to anymore_  
 _We can't afford to be innocent_  
 _Stand up and face the enemy_  
 _It's a do or die situation, we will be invincible!'_

Matt wooted in accomplishment. His invention worked. Through the lenses of the goggles he could see a virtual projection of the inside of Bubbles' apartment, the woman herself with split attention between two laptops and the circular device that he himself had sent her. Said device was transmitting a holographic image into his goggles.

"Bubbles." He spoke towards her figure and the blonde woman shrieked.

"MarioMatt? Is that you?" she slipped off of her chair, and looked into a space that he suspected his own image was projecting onto, just as he could see hers. His smile widened even more at the floaty quality of her voice. This was better than the scramble feature in the Watari network. She sounded like a Vocaloid.

"Well I'm certainly not damned Mexican," he winked, loving the sound of his own digitized voice. "Now be a doll and press the yellow switch."

"Well damn, Mail." the woman blinked, hardly knowing where to look, and Matt knew if he removed the goggles, he would be able to see her 3D projected form in his own living room.

Matt smirked, flicking a red switch on his goggles, and typed instructions to the others in rapid succession. Within moments Force10 had joined Bubbles and found himself in a strange virtual reality projection that was running on its own encrypted server, scrambling the signals in ways where they couldn't even trace each other through the sci-fy-esque chat. Across countries, across an untraceable connection, defying the current science on holographic projection, they were seeing each other.

After a moment, Force10 turned to Bubbles and wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, "This isn't quite what I had in mind that one time I suggested we have a three-way."

Laughter erupted from Allaire as his form joined the the mini hacker force. Matt typed more instructions into his laptop and clicked more buttons on his goggles and he was eventually staring at the ten best hackers in the wold, himself aside. They were conversing animatedly, mostly in English, but with other languages sprinkled here and there. After the general shock of things wore off, they tested exactly how much they could and couldn't do. Bets were immediately made as to who could crack Matt's server and hijack the main command center but the Wammy's genius simply smirked at them, knowing that they'd have to band together aggressively to just make a scratch in his system. He was modeling the new Watari network after this new invention of his and his firewalls were more secure than Nears, by at least double.

They'd have to fucking _be Lawliet_ to get in.

"Oh, you bet I am the shit, bitches. You said I couldn't pull it off? Pwned all your asses."

Almost as an afterthought the redhead added, "Oh, yeah. So. Like, I'm getting married in a week." He took a long drag on one of his hand-rolled cigarettes before continuing. "And I umn...kinda need a best man. Any volunteers?"

/~/~/~/~/ Within the claustrophobic white walls of Near's headquarters /~/~/~/~/

Stephen Gevanni had placed the package on the floor near his boss nearly an hour before but the young genius had yet to touch it. In fact, he could just barely make out the slightest hint of repulsion in Near's eyes. It was only a flicker, but he had noticed. Gevanni was the most observant of the ex-SPK members who had stayed directly on Near's payroll.

"Lidner has already informed me of what the package contains. I feel no need to peruse its contents." The white-haired man had replied to the unasked question.

And that was the end of that. Although Gevanni did stir a bit when he noticed the little Mello-puppet on the floor had had its head snapped off and said head had been piked on a toothpick.

"Sir?" He eyed his boss questioningly.

Near narrowed his eyes, "We have an event to attend to in a week," the third L explained, "but I will not wear the attire that Mello has selected for me, which I am 5% certain is meant to humiliate me and lies in that box there."

Gevanni could have sworn he heard the pajama'd boy mutter 'idiotic dick sucker' under his breath.

/~/~/~/~/ But outside an art gallery in New York /~/~/~/~/

Linda was on the phone, raising her voice at Luigi, "What do you mean you got an invite to Matt and Mello's wedding? No, no, I didn't get anything. What? How the fuck did Fenian get an invite? He's been missing for months! Not even Near could find him. You mean to tell me that everyone but me got an invitation?"

Her face burned in rage and humiliation. She hung up with the German man angrily and dialed for M on the Watari network.

The crinkle of a chocolate wrapper sounded through the muffled answer, "Why hello Sharon."

"Mihael, you fucking arsehole!" the Israeli native cried.

/~/~/~/~/ And finally in a fetish shop on Camden Street/~/~/~/~/

Mello held his phone at ear's length, not wanting to deal with Linda's drama as she cussed him out in three languages. He was occupied with pre-official-nuptial bliss and besides, he was in a fucking fitting for fuck's sake.

"Yeah, sorry Lin, the connection is bad," He purposefully crinkled his chocolate wrapper more, knowing full well that the Watari networked worked on its own satellite and that Linda wouldn't buy the excuse worth its weight in salt. He switched to Yiddish and cut her off as he looked into the mirror where the seamstress was making small adjustments to his attire.

He made a small twirl in his perfectly gorgeous, black, sleek, leather wedding clothes and smiled.

And what a beautiful dress it was! He rested one hand on his hip and tossed his hair over his shoulder.

Matt was wrong. He didn't look the least bit feminine. After all, it was leather.

Everyone knows leather is unisex.

* * *

A/N: This was supposed to be a serious one-shot. It decided to make itself a two-chapter deal that threw my original plot out the window and I'm editing the second part RN.

Anyone have some silly song suggestions for them all to dance to? XD

Review please? :D


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